Mirians Drive on the Right Lane.

Yes. You read that correctly. Mirians like driving on the right side of the road, because they think they are Americans..


Majority of them also drive like this.

They're all expert drivers, don't need to keep eyes on the road.

They also go 25km/h in the 90km/h zone. Because they're the expert.

Actual video footage of cars driving on roads in Miri

Didn't help that our roads are bumpy. I mean, the ones in town are OK - if not sandy and littered with trash... but the connecting roads to Brunei are a terrible roller coaster ride. And one may argue that the town is what's important, but then again, the first thing the Bruneians experience is hitting the roof of their car multiple times, then that's the image Miri got them. Bruneians are tourists too, you know.


In summary, Mirians don't know how to drive. They blow past stop signs and don't know how to read road lines, and it actually gets worse over time as these drivers then teach new drivers the incorrect methods.

I blame the driving instructors. And don't forget the "Kopi-O" license schools too.

Visit Miri!!!! 2018!!!!! PLEEEASE!!!!!

Miri's tourist attractions

Picture of taxpayer's totally normal cushy seating park bench.

2018 is visit Miri !! Yay!!!

Attractions (as quoted):

1. Grand Old Lady and Petroleum Museum - “substandard touch up on our important landmark and the museum is closed until further notice.”
2. Miri City Fan Park - “Missing tiles everywhere, paints peeling off from the walls, exposing nails and wires at the bench, water fountain is not working and landscaping is substandard”
3. Miri Cultural and Heritage Museum - “Promised to be opened in last September in the historical Residence House but to date, no renovation is done. The place is left with rubbish inside and outside the building.”
4. Miri Marina Central Park - “RM5million taxpayer was reported spent on the park. Construction seems to have stopped but the park is half finished. Facilities are not functioning.”
5. Bulatan Park - “The clock on the tower is forever not functioning. Drainage is very bad with water pooling on the walking path, park, children playground. Missing rubbish bin etc”
6. Miri Public Park - “Children playground is broken for many months, the hanging bridge towers in need for a repaint. The shower facility at the water playground is broken. The children facility in the water playground is mouldy”
7. Tanjong Lobang Park - “The oldest recreational park in Miri is in very bad condition. Rust and sharp edges found on children playground. Having a warning band is not enough, it should be fixed or removed altogether. The huts have damaged rooftops and the walkway is mudfilled making it impossible to walk without getting dirty.”

 

Senadin residents have reflected there is a lack of running park and they have to resort to running in the housing areas at risk of knocking down by cars or bitten by dogs.

And many, many more!!


Click here to tell the Miri mayor (and all the previous mayors) what a marvelous job he is doing!!

ZIKA IS IN MIRI

“One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the virus will soon be here. I, for one welcome our new Virus Overlords..."  -- or maybe not.

"A test conducted by a private lab in Kuala Lumpur showed that the patient tested positive for Zika. She was admitted to the Miri Hospital on Sept 11 for further tests," he said in a statement on Tuesday.

 The Ministry confirmed that both women had come into recent contact with each other as the latter had visited her sister in Miri on Aug 26 and returned to Kuala Lumpur on Sept 6."
 
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2016/09/13/two-sisters-test-positive-for-zika/


Let's see. If we can't even control Dengue, what of Zika? The best we can do is just be ready for it and hope our immune system is ready enough to fight it. The virus apparently resides in mosquitoes for weeks. This thing will be widespread by the end of the year. Oh yeah, and don't get pregnant.

Click here for a list of things that Zika will do to you (or not, since symptoms affect 18% to 25%  of people).

I know what I'm gonna be doing:

This is how you turn.

 Admit it, more than 80% of you do it. Don't deny it.

A Random Shooting is Downplayed as "Vandalism"

A Random Shooting (A SERIOUS CRIME) is Downplayed as "Vandalism" (an inconvenience). Thanks, Borneo Post.

Traffic Lights 101 : Do Not Block Line of Sight..

One day, driving along Jln Permaisuri....

See anything wrong? 

How do I see the traffic light this way?

Srsly? 

Traffic Light 101 : CRITICAL FAIL

Not Smoking? 6% GST + 5% Service Charge

Found near a hotel restaurant...


Don't worry though, we're all fuming already. Definitely lots of smoking heads....

A Short Article on Bintang Megablaze

Picture of Bintang Megablaze

Picture of Bintang Megablaze grand main entrance.

Megablaze has everything from :

Major BBQ events, CHECK!



Major water features, CHECK!

Ghostly mysterious suicides, CHECK! Link

Haunted funhouse that is linked to ghostly mysterious suicides, CHECK! Link

 

....because the site it was built was on a sacred mass-grave! CHECK!  Link

We interrupt your regular programming to bring you George Takei commenting on the above discoveries..

If that isn't enough, there are booby-trapped explosive floors!! CHECK!

 Crammed full with events such as the above......

...that threatens to make the place go like the above....

And there's more! Adventure is in there! 

Took the term "Spot Welding" literally

You wonder when it will just fail with all those people pressing on
the rails overlooking the floor below especially during events....

- Poorly welded railings on the higher floors overlooking over the the ground floor! Whenever there's an event on the lowest floor, crowds of people hang over those railings! Hey you down there, look out above for falling railings/humans! Isn't that exciting??

- Genius parking design! Where the cars going up and cars going down all fuse into one lane? So now they have to have a security guard to act as a full time traffic director. What a genius design!

- The hotel (which is the one that supposedly sits on the mass grave, by the way) lobby that has decor of a Red Light District club? And one with an entrance to the mall that goes straight to the shoe department, genius!

- A fountain that, when the wind is right sprays water all over the front entrance car park and people walking by.

- Closes and redirects public roads whenever they feel like it. Not that it matters because the location itself already causes jams and disruption. To be fair, some of these are drivers' faults, who for whatever unfathomable reason, likes visiting poorly-designed, poor-constructed, rickety, haunted, safety-certification-failed malls.


Disclaimer: I have no problem with the business and retailers within Bintang Megablaze. They are great and if it weren't for the place they make great shopping experiences. It just sucks that these retailers happen to be located in Bintang Megablaze.  I feel sorry for all of you. I really do.

JKR Transformed! Public-friendly! Efficient! Insert Keyword Here!

Apparently, in today's really special news, "sectional" transformation of the Public Works Department (JKR) of Sarawak has made it more public-friendly.


 "Assistant Minister of Early Childhood Education and Family Development Rosey Yunus said the transformation had helped the people solve infrastructural issues in their areas. “To me, the acronym JKR stands for Service Network for the People. No doubt, the department all this while has helped us a lot in dealing directly with our basic infrastructure needs,” she Assistingly Ministered when officiating at JKR Northern Region’s Jalinan Mesra Dinner at Dynasty Hotel on Sunday."

 J.K.R. is the acronym of Service Network for the People. Errr, do we really understand what acronym is? Or was that acronumb? I thought I read acronym.

"The transformation would enable the people to directly refer their complaints or problems to the department’s Water or Road sections."

Holy Fighting Transformers! What a wonderful transformation that is! Direct referral of complaints or problems to departments, instead of indirect! Who'd would have thought of THAT? GENIUS. HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND AND A ROUND OF GOLF EVERYBODEE!

Booya! Genius solution! Who'd have thunk it!

"Miri Divisional Engineer Goh Soon Bon in an earlier address said the department’s transformation programme known as ‘JKR New Face’ was implemented after three years’ study to increase the professionalism, effectiveness and efficient cost standard in the state JKR."

Studying the increase is great. But what about looking at the decrease, inefficiency, and unprofessionalism instead?

"Under this programme, the state department set up its regional office at three main zones: northern, middle and southern. These three zones would supervise and manage more than RM500,00 worth of federal and state government development projects. The department’s divisional office would be taking care of government assets and manage projects below RM500,000."

OK, so "500,00" does not correspond to a correct use of commas in a number, unless we are following some European system, in which case, that figure would be just RM500. But - we'd let it slide.. it's a Borneo Post news story, after all. But seriously, what an idea. Miri is like, one big place. So, you divide it into three sections, and GOLLY GEE WHIZ IT'S EASIER TO MANAGE. You'd have to wonder, why didn't ANYONE think about it the past 10 years or so Miri became a city.

Unimpressed.

Miri Isn't Going to Replace Kuching as the Capital of Sarawak

The Queen isn't impressed

  Here's why it is not a very clever statement: The capital is going to be capital, that's it. Miri, even if it is going to be better developed than Kuching, is still not going to be a capital.

Haha, no.

Chief Minister Tan Sri Adenan Satem was quoted as saying "Miri is catching up with Sibu and Kuching", and that it would not be surprising that if it overtook the popularity.  You don't make a city a capital of the state just because of popularity. It would look like this NST journalist confused "popularity" with capital.

Canberra is the capital of Australia. But Sydney is much more popular. Wellington is the capital city of New Zealand. Auckland is more well known. You getting da drift now?

If Chief Minister Tan Sri Adenan Satem had really said those words, he probably only said it to please the Mirians. But it's not a clever statement at all. This Mirian certainly isn't impressed. The Queen was even less impressed.

End of story.

Miri to be more confusing with a new place called "Marina Parkcity"

Awesome new place called Marina ParkCity. Except it's called Arcadia Square. Or something. It's not near the Marina, not a park, but it is near a city. In Malaysia, getting 1/3 correct qualifies getting it right. It looks awesome now in the rendering, but once completed will probably look nothing like it. Certainly there won't be so many sports cars or Bentleys.

Yay, more big projects for places with similar sounding names!

The Marina Parkcity project when completed will bring Miri City to a higher level, making the city more confusing to both locals and foreigners who will confuse it with Parkcity Everly Hotel or the Marina Bay.

With a name like Marina Parkcity, the project site is bound to give more confusion to people who call up each other to meet at locations with the name "Marina" and "Parkcity". Cue the following conversations:

A: "Hello! Meet me at Parkcity"
B: "OK No prob, dude!"
*B drives to Parkcity Everly*
B: "Hey, where are you I don't see you!"
A: "Parkcity! I don't see you either!"
B: "I am at Parkcity! Waiting at the front"
A: "I AM at the front."
B: "Parkcity Everly?"
A: "I am at MARINA parkcity"
*A drives to the Marina Bay*
A: "OK I'm here. Where are you?"

Phone conversation continues for another 15 minutes until realization etc.

Sound familiar to you? Because it's the same deal with places with the names "Boulevard",  "Imperial", "Palace", "Marina", "Permaisuri". In the case with "Boulevard", last I counted, Miri has about 1,245,322,675,757.33 places with that name, ranging from small outlets to departmental stores to commercial centres to cold storage to restaurant!

(Incidentally, the places with the name Boulevard in Miri doesn't actually mean what the word "boulevard" supposed to mean. Don't understand? Look it up in Wikipedia.)
 
So, anyway, its first phase has been completed and the project is entering its second phase. Which have both already has been sold out. Because you know, Mirians are rich - they have oil wells sticking out of their backyards, remember?

Read more: http://www.theborneopost.com/2014/02/27/miri-to-be-more-attractive-with-marina-parkcity-lee/#ixzz2uVttEELK

Link http://marinaparkcity.com/

Rumored Cracks on Bintang Megamall Spreading About

On 15th January, 2014, while surfing on FaceBook:

A Little Fact : They have had cracking problems for ages. Just never loud ones....

A Little Fact #2 : Their construction quality has always bugged me. Their stairways rail fell down once when I merely touched it.

 

I am staying at least 500M radius away from that area the next time I commute near it.

From: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10203166121976742&set=gm.10152164554482859&type=1

Bruneian Attacked, Mirians Say "LALALALA Didn't See Anything, Not my Business"

Typical Malaysians?

What's up everyone, Happy New Year! How's the year 1914?

Just came back from my home planet and immediately we get some crime news:

  A man from neighboring Brunei crossed the border to Miri afternoon and parked his car at eMart and went to a money changer to change some sweet, sweet favorable RM ≠ B$ currency.

E-Mort, one of the shitiest areas in Miri.

 Of course, as luck would have it - or should we say an unnaturally high percent chance - this being Miri eMart area we're talking about - upon coming out, he sees three men trying to force open his car.


 So, he did what anyone would do - he shouted and confronted the men. This turned into a scuffle, and one of the criminal brandished his knife and slashed him on the hands. In the news report from BruDirect - the people around him are either oblivious to it or simply did not care to assist him, call the police, or provide some medical help. Okay, so medical help is expecting too much, since many Malaysians in general don't know Jack Schitt about first aid anyway, and any attempts will probably make it worse.

Wow,

So anyway, defense successful (or unsuccessful - depending on how you interpret), bloods gushing from both cut wounds on his arms and windows of his vehicle smashed, the victim somehow managed to drive back across the border where he received immediate medical attention at the Suri Seri Begawan Hospital in Kuala Belait.

His real mistake? He went to e-Mart - a place where even this Mirian avoids like the plague.

http://brudirect.com/national/national/national-headlines/14017-mirians-turn-blind-eye-as-bruneian-fought-for-his-life

Senior Officials Seldom Available to Duties, Does Crappy High Fives Instead

Many have been complaining that senior officials from public bodies and government agencies are too slow to respond to the needs of the public. This is despite being "in compliance with the Government’s Key Performance Index (KPI)".

Presumably, this Key Performance Index is to present to themselves how good they are and therefore it means that they deserve bonuses and raises while they go out playing yet another round of golf:

"We're so good we announce an index saying that we perform well! And because we perform well, we give ourselves bonuses and raises!"  *crappy high five*

Most common complaints are that some senior officials' signatures are required in several important documents, but because they are seldom around, these officers are either always “outstation”, “tied-up in meetings” or “on leave”.

Also common complaints include the District Office, Miri City Council, Natural Resources and Environment Board and Environment Department were labelled being too slow to perform their service. On top of that, the police,  Road Transport Department, Public Works Department, Drainage and Irrigation Department, National Registration Department, Welfare Department, Miri Hospital, and pretty much everything else, were cited as “struggling to improve”.

Some of these complaints appeared on the state PAS website.

The hardest hit are the people who come to these departments from the rural areas, seeking signatures of senior officers to endorse forms related to statutory declaration, but are then told that these officials are not in. The counter personnel would often give excuses, saying that these officers are either out for meetings or on leave and telling the visitors to come back another day. Because transportation to and fro from rural areas are needlessly complicated, requiring 4x4s, boats, planes, bicycles, hiking, jumping through fire hoops and outrunning rolling boulders, this can be a costly affair.

“This sort of pathetic service is causing a lot of hardship to the people, especially those who have to spend a lot of money just to travel to the city and get their documents signed,” according to the party’s deputy state commissioner Jofrie Jaraiee.

 So, on the opposite end of the (weighing) Scale (pun CLEARLY intended HAHAHAR) when asked for comments, Assistant Communications Minister and Senadin assemblyman Datuk Lee Kim Shin assistingly communicated that while he would not respond to complaints posted by PAS, he would speak to the heads of various departments mentioned to determine the truth.

 Naturally the Yes Men are going to say, "huh we haven't heard of such complaints-clearly PAS must be lying and making up stories", and then proceed to give themselves crappy high-fives and more bonuses and raises.

Crappy High-Five!!

"Crappy high-five all around everybodee!"

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Community/2013/12/27/Officials-nowhere-to-be-seen-Not-in-in-meetings-and-on-leave-among-top-public-complaints/

Police: Surrender Homemade Firearms Now!

This is a firearm. It's illegal to make one in your home. I think that's the one.

Apparently, Mirians have real talent for manufacturing dangerous things - there are some people who are making firearms in their homes! Why? Well to shoot Bambi of course!

Miri police chief, ACP Mun Kock Keong, has said that arrests and fatalities involving homemade firearms has occured in Miri and also other areas of Sarawak. And people are still making firearms for hunting or for sale, despite being warned sternly not to shoot themselves or their loved ones (either accidentally, or deliberately).

He said, “I would like to issue another warning to those in possession of homemade firearms — what they are doing is a very serious offence under the law where upon conviction, the punishment can be very heavy with lengthy jail sentences."

“Possession of any firearm without a licence is a very serious crime, regardless of whether the firearms are made at home or made in the factory,” he said.

“There have been numerous cases of children getting killed because of these weapons in their houses that had been discharged accidentally."

These cases are happening from Taman Tunku and Kuala Baram. That pretty much covers Miri from one end to the other.

"If you have a firearm, you will need to surrender them immediately to the nearest police station. "

"Don’t wait until you have to pay a ‘deadly’ price,” he warned.

On the latest seizure of two homemade firearms in Lambir on Friday, two men were found possessing an air gun and a shotgun, complete with a handfull of bullets. Investigation revealed that these two men had manufactured these weapons for hunting purposes. The penalty is still very severe even if the homemade firearms are only for the purpose of hunting, but there are no specifics on how severe.

On a typical hunt..

http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Community/2013/12/24/Serious-crime-says-ACP-Mun-Police-warn-people-to-surrender-homemade-firearms-or-face-severe-conseque.aspx

Deliberate Oil Dumping in Senadin Will Start a Zombie Apocalypse

 

Photos from Malaysian Nature Society Miri Facebook Page

  Some miscreant dumped a barrel of what seemed to be oil or tar near the Golden Royal Villa housing area in Senadin. After the discovery on 17th November 2013, a report was made to the Department of Environment (DOE) or Jabatan Alam Sekitar (JAS).

Photos from Malaysian Nature Society Miri Facebook Page

  The DOE (JAS) responded quickly to the situation by cordoning off the area by the next day (November 18th), sternly warning the dumped oil not to move around and to stay confined within the taped area.

   It is not known who is the culprit that is unhappy with the grass being green in colour and wanted to change it to black. Because oil on to the ground would seep deep into the ground, this is Bad. Why is that Bad? Well, we spent so much money and time trying to get crude oil from under ground to the surface by the use of oil well, only to send it back underground again - well that's just plain stupid.

  Also, more importantly would be that thing about how that oil will contaminate with underground water. As we all know life needs water, specifically, PLANTS:

Here is a picture of a plant. We're certain because it says "Plants" at the bottom.

 By polluting the underground water the plants will die or grow awry.. When that happens......

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

No plants are going to push back a zombie invasion. We will all die in a Zombie Apocalypse.

Similar discoveries such as pollution or deliberate toxic waste dumping should be made to aduan_k@doe.gov.my .  If we don't do it for green coloured grass, do it for zombie apocalypse prevention.

Malaysian Nature Society Miri Facebook Page  - https://www.facebook.com/MiriMNS