Bruneian Attacked, Mirians Say "LALALALA Didn't See Anything, Not my Business"

Typical Malaysians?

What's up everyone, Happy New Year! How's the year 1914?

Just came back from my home planet and immediately we get some crime news:

  A man from neighboring Brunei crossed the border to Miri afternoon and parked his car at eMart and went to a money changer to change some sweet, sweet favorable RM ≠ B$ currency.

E-Mort, one of the shitiest areas in Miri.

 Of course, as luck would have it - or should we say an unnaturally high percent chance - this being Miri eMart area we're talking about - upon coming out, he sees three men trying to force open his car.


 So, he did what anyone would do - he shouted and confronted the men. This turned into a scuffle, and one of the criminal brandished his knife and slashed him on the hands. In the news report from BruDirect - the people around him are either oblivious to it or simply did not care to assist him, call the police, or provide some medical help. Okay, so medical help is expecting too much, since many Malaysians in general don't know Jack Schitt about first aid anyway, and any attempts will probably make it worse.

Wow,

So anyway, defense successful (or unsuccessful - depending on how you interpret), bloods gushing from both cut wounds on his arms and windows of his vehicle smashed, the victim somehow managed to drive back across the border where he received immediate medical attention at the Suri Seri Begawan Hospital in Kuala Belait.

His real mistake? He went to e-Mart - a place where even this Mirian avoids like the plague.

http://brudirect.com/national/national/national-headlines/14017-mirians-turn-blind-eye-as-bruneian-fought-for-his-life

Schoolgirl Fights Snatch Thieves; Snatch Thieves Lose

You go, girl!

So, it was a nice sunny day, well except for the haze, and except there is no sun, and it wasn't really that nice. A schoolgirl named Then was walking along going to school when, suddenly, she spots one of her schoolmate in trouble! Sensing something amiss, when she saw that the two guys were clutching her uniform, and probably brandishing knives at her, she immediately went to help.

Oh, did I mention that she is a black belt in Taekwando?

What transpired wasn't clear, but we can imagine it something like an indian action movie;

She ran up to the two bad guys, who were trying to scare off her with a knife, but in slow motion, she dodges the bad guys and proceeded to flying kick one of them straight into the drain. That guy must be regretting his existence right there and then.

As Borneo Post put it, "The other man aimed a punch at Then but her six years of training in the Korean martial art taught her to duck."

Wait- it takes six years to learn how to duck?  Oh Borneo Post, we love your funny English.

In following the Indian action movie theme, maybe when they were on the motorcycle when she kicked and the motorcycle flew tumbling 360° 30 feet into the air, and explode on contact with the ground.

Which is how I would write the story.  But too bad that didn't happen - the two fled on their motorcycle.


Naturally, a police report on the incident has been lodged. But what good does that do? It's after the fact. It would've been a better story if the police had already caught them already. Police, you're just not very good. Unlike Taekwando Black Belt Girl Then here, who should be receiving Noble Peace Prize of some sort.

Read more: http://www.theborneopost.com/2013/06/21/schoolgirl-taekwondo-exponent-sends-snatch-thieves-fleeing

Murder Attempt Gun Shooting in Miri

The third shooting in 2 years, a local businessman was targeted for murder in broad daylight at 3pm in Centre Point Commercial Center.

Fortuately for him, the assassin sucks, so he escaped unharmed. As they always say, "What doesn't kill you... is a lousy assassin."

The first shooting happened last year with the target killed, and the second shooting happened earlier this year, with the target injured in the head. This particular incident unfolded when the victim was about to enter his car after a meal at a nearby restaurant when a man emerged from the front passenger side of a "dark-coloured 4×4" vehicle and fired a shot at him.

Police later found several bullet holes at the crime scene. Yeah of course, they have, when considering that shots have been fired. What did we expect, rainbows flowing out where the shots went?

According to the police, the suspect’s identity has been confirmed, and they are taking action, but they would not comment further.

Read more: http://www.theborneopost.com/2013/06/20/miri-businessman-survives-bid-on-his-life/